“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6: 10-12
____________________________________________________________________________________
“Max listened to his family continue their conversation with carefree laughter over the crackling embers and red to orange-yellow sparks of a backyard fire pit. Yet, it wasn’t exactly carefree for him. That gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach seemed to always be there these days. He tried to calm his thoughts, to meditate, change his diet and make sure he got enough rest. Still, the aching in his soul remained.
Conletta wanted him to see a doctor, but deep down he knew it wasn’t actually a physical ailment. He simply wasn’t ready to deal with it yet…”
Max’s family represents a cross section of the world as we know it. They believe in the American dream, equality for all people and simply enjoying the treasures available in life. What they don’t believe in is a Heavenly Father who created it all and will one day decide its end. They discuss Christian religion jokingly, as if it were created by people who want something for themselves.
As a Christian, saved and baptized at a very early age, Max never learned about the pitfalls of the world. He entered adult life with the idea that all was for the taking. He didn’t stop to think about turning his back on God. He didn’t even tell his wife that he was a Christian because she was so anti-religion and he was afraid of losing her.
And so, he tossed it all to the wind, with no thought of the future, the outcome of their lives, or the outcome of their eternity. Youth tends to form a barrier that way. The reality of life’s journey seems so far away. Living for happiness in the moment becomes priority, even if that happiness is sinfulness in the eyes of God.
Now facing middle-age, Max’s perspective is changing. The peace and happiness of his childhood memories in a church family creep back in his subconscious. He begins to have a fierce struggle deep inside over his life choices. Yes, he and Conletta provided well for their family. Though nothing extravagant, they possess all the basic modern conveniences. Their children are able to receive a formal education to carry them into their own lives. Yet, he begins to suffer grave regrets about not training his children in the Christian faith. For that matter, he regrets not having tried to save his wife.
Max is feeling the hand of God on his heart and soul. God has a plan for each of us, which is revealed in His own timing. We can deny, ignore, refuse and run away from God. Still, He is there, touching us in undeniable ways that we cannot ignore. At the moment, Max wrestles with the fear that he must choose between the love of his family and the love of God. How will they react if he were to explain who he truly is inside, that he desperately wants them to be together in Heaven one day?
Meanwhile, Paul deals with his own discoveries…
“Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm…And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” Ephesians 6:13 & 17
_____________________________________________________________________________
“Yet, there it was in his hand for the first time probably since he laid it there on the day he moved in. His mind felt cluttered, yet so clear. He breathed in the aroma of freshly pressed shirts in the tiny closet which mixed with a hint of cedar. The organization of items therein also mixed with the organization of his life –everything had a proper use and should be used as such. So what was the proper use for this?
Paul took the box back to his computer desk and sat down again in front of the blank screen. With shaky hands, he slowly removed the cover to reveal a brown, leather covered Holy Bible. He traced the gold scripting with his eyes for a full minute before lifting the book from its cardboard case. It felt heavy in his hands. The leather was still pretty smooth and supple from being so protected – and unread.”
So powerful and moving, even the non-believer has a hard time looking at the Bible and not feeling something. It’s beginning to seem at this point, however, as though Paul is not so much a non-believer as he is a doubter. The small distinction would be that a non-believer gives absolutely no admission to the existence of God. Whereas a doubter shows mixed emotions; confusion, uneasiness, even anger and hate that if God exists, He must be cruel and unforgiving.
Also raised as a child who was taken to church, Paul doubted because he could never understand why there was so much pain in his life. He sang the hymns. He heard some of the sermons. There was all this talk about saving, love and joy on the one side. Then Hell and damnation shouted on the other. He felt the Hell part alright. But as for love and joy – nothing in this life even came close to that description. Solitude – that was the most he could hope for.
The biggest part of Paul wants to chunk the book into a furnace. He had pushed so many sad and hurtful feelings to the back of his mind. Holding the Bible that contained the only picture he had of himself and his dad threatened to unleash them all. But the stoic heart of hurt had not only built a wall. It built a fortress so strong that only a mighty pounding would be able to knock it down.
Still feeling somewhat in control, Paul allowed himself to thumb through a few pages in the middle. That’s when he came face to face with a particular scripture of red wording that stung a little too deep. He quickly put everything back in its place and scrambled to change his thoughts. Ironically, his thoughts fall to the other distraction in his life, Marissa. He dredges up the courage – and an excuse - to call her. One invitation leads to another you would never expect…
Again, God’s timing and purpose is not for us to understand. Still, He gives us all we need, exactly when we need it. The Bible, God’s word, is our sword and our guide. All we have to do is read it and believe…
I hope you join me again for the developments in Chapter Six. I continue to pray throughout the writing of this novel that God will guide the delivery of a message. The story is a portrayal of how He can work among us and through us to effect change in ourselves and in others, and even the world.
Grace and Blessings to all,
Darlene Nixon
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6: 10-12
____________________________________________________________________________________
“Max listened to his family continue their conversation with carefree laughter over the crackling embers and red to orange-yellow sparks of a backyard fire pit. Yet, it wasn’t exactly carefree for him. That gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach seemed to always be there these days. He tried to calm his thoughts, to meditate, change his diet and make sure he got enough rest. Still, the aching in his soul remained.
Conletta wanted him to see a doctor, but deep down he knew it wasn’t actually a physical ailment. He simply wasn’t ready to deal with it yet…”
Max’s family represents a cross section of the world as we know it. They believe in the American dream, equality for all people and simply enjoying the treasures available in life. What they don’t believe in is a Heavenly Father who created it all and will one day decide its end. They discuss Christian religion jokingly, as if it were created by people who want something for themselves.
As a Christian, saved and baptized at a very early age, Max never learned about the pitfalls of the world. He entered adult life with the idea that all was for the taking. He didn’t stop to think about turning his back on God. He didn’t even tell his wife that he was a Christian because she was so anti-religion and he was afraid of losing her.
And so, he tossed it all to the wind, with no thought of the future, the outcome of their lives, or the outcome of their eternity. Youth tends to form a barrier that way. The reality of life’s journey seems so far away. Living for happiness in the moment becomes priority, even if that happiness is sinfulness in the eyes of God.
Now facing middle-age, Max’s perspective is changing. The peace and happiness of his childhood memories in a church family creep back in his subconscious. He begins to have a fierce struggle deep inside over his life choices. Yes, he and Conletta provided well for their family. Though nothing extravagant, they possess all the basic modern conveniences. Their children are able to receive a formal education to carry them into their own lives. Yet, he begins to suffer grave regrets about not training his children in the Christian faith. For that matter, he regrets not having tried to save his wife.
Max is feeling the hand of God on his heart and soul. God has a plan for each of us, which is revealed in His own timing. We can deny, ignore, refuse and run away from God. Still, He is there, touching us in undeniable ways that we cannot ignore. At the moment, Max wrestles with the fear that he must choose between the love of his family and the love of God. How will they react if he were to explain who he truly is inside, that he desperately wants them to be together in Heaven one day?
Meanwhile, Paul deals with his own discoveries…
“Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm…And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” Ephesians 6:13 & 17
_____________________________________________________________________________
“Yet, there it was in his hand for the first time probably since he laid it there on the day he moved in. His mind felt cluttered, yet so clear. He breathed in the aroma of freshly pressed shirts in the tiny closet which mixed with a hint of cedar. The organization of items therein also mixed with the organization of his life –everything had a proper use and should be used as such. So what was the proper use for this?
Paul took the box back to his computer desk and sat down again in front of the blank screen. With shaky hands, he slowly removed the cover to reveal a brown, leather covered Holy Bible. He traced the gold scripting with his eyes for a full minute before lifting the book from its cardboard case. It felt heavy in his hands. The leather was still pretty smooth and supple from being so protected – and unread.”
So powerful and moving, even the non-believer has a hard time looking at the Bible and not feeling something. It’s beginning to seem at this point, however, as though Paul is not so much a non-believer as he is a doubter. The small distinction would be that a non-believer gives absolutely no admission to the existence of God. Whereas a doubter shows mixed emotions; confusion, uneasiness, even anger and hate that if God exists, He must be cruel and unforgiving.
Also raised as a child who was taken to church, Paul doubted because he could never understand why there was so much pain in his life. He sang the hymns. He heard some of the sermons. There was all this talk about saving, love and joy on the one side. Then Hell and damnation shouted on the other. He felt the Hell part alright. But as for love and joy – nothing in this life even came close to that description. Solitude – that was the most he could hope for.
The biggest part of Paul wants to chunk the book into a furnace. He had pushed so many sad and hurtful feelings to the back of his mind. Holding the Bible that contained the only picture he had of himself and his dad threatened to unleash them all. But the stoic heart of hurt had not only built a wall. It built a fortress so strong that only a mighty pounding would be able to knock it down.
Still feeling somewhat in control, Paul allowed himself to thumb through a few pages in the middle. That’s when he came face to face with a particular scripture of red wording that stung a little too deep. He quickly put everything back in its place and scrambled to change his thoughts. Ironically, his thoughts fall to the other distraction in his life, Marissa. He dredges up the courage – and an excuse - to call her. One invitation leads to another you would never expect…
Again, God’s timing and purpose is not for us to understand. Still, He gives us all we need, exactly when we need it. The Bible, God’s word, is our sword and our guide. All we have to do is read it and believe…
I hope you join me again for the developments in Chapter Six. I continue to pray throughout the writing of this novel that God will guide the delivery of a message. The story is a portrayal of how He can work among us and through us to effect change in ourselves and in others, and even the world.
Grace and Blessings to all,
Darlene Nixon