“Even though Paul realized the error in his previous snap conclusion, it was not much of a relief. For reasons he could not pin point, he still felt humiliated, as though he were on trial – like he wanted to run and scream but was tied down and gagged. He noticed Marissa gazing intently toward the pulpit with a bible in her hands poised to open seemingly on cue.
‘But my friends, (continued the pastor in his sermon) we all know that Jesus appeared to Paul on the road to Damascus and changed his life forever. Completely transformed from Christian persecutor to soldier for Christ, Paul became the foremost teacher/minister to early churches, as well as to the lost.”’
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Acts 8:3 “As for Saul (later called Paul), he made havoc of the church, entering every house, and dragging off men and women, committing them to prison.”
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Paul makes his first visit to church since he was a young, boy. Marissa was able to convince him to accompany her, if she went to lunch with him afterward. It still shouldn’t have been so easy though. Paul’s attraction to the pretty, Habitat for Humanity volunteer overrode any feelings of trepidation.
He couldn’t explain just what was happening. Lord knows he didn’t want to step foot inside a church. Nothing good ever came from it while he was growing up. His grandmother believed wholeheartedly. She “preached” it to him nearly every day. Still, he couldn’t say her prayers were ever answered. Her family fell apart before her eyes and she could do nothing to stop it. No, you couldn’t prove to Paul that “Jesus loves.”
Yet, here he is, listening to a sermon, feeling an odd stressfulness deep inside. One thing about it now versus when he was a kid in church is that he is more able to understand what is being said, and not allow his mind to wander toward what he would do first when he got home. During the message this Sunday morning, the antagonistic journalist actually sees himself in the story of The Apostle Paul in the Bible, at least the part where he wants to make all believers change their minds.
It feels like everyone there sees the same thing. They must all be thinking that he’s a horrible sinner, that the message is completely directed at him. And that Marissa should not be keeping company with the likes of him. How could he let himself get suckered into a room full of so many hypocrites? Well, some of them are probably true believers, like grandma was. Okay, it’s probably true that Marissa is too good for him, even if she’s following a pointless set of commandments. He stares at the cross behind the pulpit and begs to the heavens that he’s not trembling on the outside like he is on the inside. And what is this striking dagger-like pain in the pit of his stomach?
Marissa on the other hand is thoroughly engulfed in the service. She draws inner strength from God’s presence from the first note of praise and worship until the final call of invitation. She also makes a connection between the message of Paul of Tarsus and the man seated to her left. It makes perfect sense that God would plan to use Paul for a great work. However, she feels unworthy to be part of it, as well as where to go from here.
She tries to sense how Paul is handling his first church service in over a decade. She notices him sitting stiff in the pew, twisting the program bulletin into a tube between his knees. God must be truly touching his heart. She thinks about Mr. Cruthers two years ago. He acted the same way during a service before he could no longer deny the call. Then when Pastor Simmons closed the message and opened the service for invitation for anyone to be saved, Mr. Cruthers couldn’t get down front fast enough. And there didn’t seem to be enough Kleenex to go around.
Throughout this service, the God-fearing, kind-hearted, ambassador for Christ prays and prays that the Lord’s spirit washes over Paul and moves his heart. Yet, no matter what, she concludes in the payer and looking around nonchalantly at nearby church members, Thy will be done. Amen.
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Hebrews 3:12-13 “Take care, brethren, that there not be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart that falls away from the living God. But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today”’…
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Paul manages to avoid giving his heart to God this time. Still, Marissa is undaunted. She firmly believes he felt something. Perhaps he just didn’t recognize it as being from God. She gladly holds up her end of the bargain by joining him for lunch. Besides, for some strange reason she simply enjoys his company. Perhaps she just doesn’t recognize her feelings as anything more than a desire to see someone saved. At any rate, wanting to question the professional questioner, Marissa attempts to extract a positive response.
Unfortunately, Paul does his best to dodge any answer that might create a semblance of sappy emotion. He stays firm on a denial of not being “moved” by the church service. However, he also treads a fine line to keep her from completely giving up on him. Because what he does feel, he feels for Marissa. He knows they are worlds apart. Still, he is captivated by something. It’s not only that she’s beautiful, which she is. It’s not only that she’s intelligent with common-sense, which she is. It’s not only that she has more spunk than any sweet, lovely person should possess, which she does. He just feels so drawn to her, in a way he could never understand.
It’s the kind of quandary he would have taken to his grandmother. So when Marissa asks him about her, he nearly shuts down. A part of him wants to yell at her for bringing it up. Another part wants to completely open up to her and cry out for tenderness. Then, he doesn’t get the chance to do either. His boss, Max, and his entire family enter the restaurant, effectively interrupting the moment.
After the usual pleasantries, each party continues their meal separately. Still the conversations focus directly on the other table. Why would Max’s family come all the way downtown near the college for Sunday lunch? Why does Conletta seem more arrogant than ever and the kids a little more childish? From the other side of the room, why would Paul and Marissa have lunch together? Shouldn’t they hate each other? Is she playing him to keep him from writing an ugly column about her beloved Habitat for Humanity? Is he playing her to get her to leak something ugly about her beloved HFH?
We all have choices everyday- choices to be kind or mean, helpful or hurtful to share our beliefs or stay silent. I pray you continue this journey into the lives and choices of Paul, Marissa and the Jacobs Family, as God offers great works. And I pray you find as much inspiration as I have in writing it.
Chapter seven will delve even deeper. I can’t wait to share.
Grace and Blessings,
Darlene Nixon